This wasn't one-sided, you realize,” she finished. I told her I started quite early when I was young taking me to meeting like she was at just that morning. Women were dressed nicely and I began an interest in ladies' legs...long, short skinny, shapely as long as they had nylons on. At home I realized I could watch you put on stockings as you always sat on a chair that was in my brother's and my bedroom near the only closet in the old farm house. I began to peek around the corner sometimes and finally walked in a few times looking for something in my desk. Finally one day when I was about 10 or 11 I asked if I could help you and show me how the garters worked. “Yes, I remember and I let you fasten them, right?” I will never forget how beautiful her full thighs looked, so soft and alluring. “How did you know to come in at the right time, I have always wondered?” she asked. “Well Mom, our house is small and rooms arranged so one could walk through the rooms in a circle, also I learned. ? She didn?t feel beautiful or special. She felt like a filthy, weak little whore for giving in like this. The voice in her head that told her to fight, that she was a pathetic, worthless piece of shit for giving in to him grew quieter as she concentrated on what he said. Someone was proud of her; someone thought she was beautiful, even though she stank and her hair hung in limp, greasy tangles; someone thought she was special, not worthless. She wanted to believe those things about herself, not that she was weak and worthless. When she saw what was pushed out of the shadows with her bowl of rice, she almost cried with gratitude. ?Thank you, sir,? she whispered, crawling to the bars to retrieve the towels, shampoo and soap. * * * Bathing in the small sink was difficult, but Tina reveled in the feeling of water and soap. First she soaked her hair, forcing her head under the low faucet, heedless of it digging painfully into her scalp. Then she forced her head under the flowing water.
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